With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, I’ve spent the last few weeks wracking my brain for love-related topics.

“5 healthy, pink foods you should make for Valentine’s day!”
“Heart-shaped chocolate truffles!”
“How to show someone you love them with kale!”

Shockingly enough, none of these made the cut.

Then I really thought about it, and I realized that the most valuable & loving gift you can give someone is a healthier and more joyful life.

When we decide to make changes or deepen our commitments to our healthy lifestyles—how we eat, the way we move our bodies, the stories we tell ourselves about food—the people in our lives don’t always know how to react.

They might feel frightened or rejected.

They might feel defensive.

They might just miss their partner in pesto pasta and red wine.

But it’s completely possible to live an intentional, healthy life and include the people you love...and maybe (just maybe!) even get them to join you.

Here are my favorite ways to engage and empower your loved ones so that they can willingly evolve along with you.

Show—Don’t Tell
When we discover the healing properties of turmeric, it’s tempting to tell everyone, but your 10-year-old probably doesn’t care. Your hairstylist? Probably not interested either.

What’s most effective? Living your life as a happy, fit, energetic human who happens to drink turmeric lattes after dinner every night. When you feel great, people notice, and they’ll want to know what you’re doing that they’re not.

And when they ask...then you can reveal the details of your love affair with turmeric roasted veggies.

Involve Them in the Process
People don’t usually enjoy having changes foisted upon them—especially children. Instead of instituting a three servings of vegetables with every meal rule, give your kids a voice.

Ask each child to choose one vegetable each time you go shopping. Then, invite them to whip up a dish with you in the kitchen. During dinner, they can tell everyone about their veggie.

Of course, this isn’t limited to kids. You can involve anyone in your healthy activities. Encourage your partner to choose a new recipe from a plant-based cookbook, and then get cooking together. Invite your best friend to meet you at the farmer’s market. Take walks with co-workers during your lunch hour.

Provide Healthy Choices—All the Time, Everywhere
I’m the person who brings kale salad to Super Bowl parties. I roll out trays of  grilled vegetables whenever I entertain. I make flourless garbanzo bean brownies for the lacrosse team. (Shhh. Don’t tell!) When my friends want to catch up, I suggest a walk on the trail instead of cocktails.

These tweaks are tiny and innocuous, but they all add up... and people notice and appreciate them. They’re too small to raise eyebrows (or alarms), but they’ll introduce people to your healthier approach to life.

Lead with Enthusiasm
When you’re making exciting changes to your life and accomplishing health goals left and right, you feel amazing. You’re more confident in your choices and your abilities. Channel that energy into your interactions.

If your co-workers tease you about those goji berries, just smile and say “I know they look weird, but they make me feel great!” If your roommate rolls her eyes about all the kale and quinoa, laugh and say, “I never thought I’d see the day that I would be addicted to eating my greens, but they give me so much energy!”

It’s hard to argue with a confident, happy person who’s obviously cooking, moving, and living in a way that works for them.

How did I learn all this?

I’ve spent the last 19 years trying to get my two sons on the healthy lifestyle bandwagon. Let me assure you, it has been a long process. There were so many complaints about too many Brussels sprouts and not enough “white” pasta…and lots & lots of  “Oh, mom!” comments.

But a few weeks ago on my birthday, I knew that all the effort was finally paying off. My birthday present was more meaningful than any beautiful bouquet or lavender-scented candle or massage gift certificate. It was evidence that my kids were listening:

Because I really believe that a healthy lifestyle tastes & feels so much better when friends & family join in on the fun, I’m challenging you to take action and encourage the special people in your life to jump on board. Share your plan (or your success stories) in the comments!